Sunday, February 12, 2012

Simplicity, the Writer's Friend

I may still be a beginning writer, but it doesn't take a five-time Grand Master to recognize, and point out, flaws in the craft. Something that only someone who's deeply, deeply experienced can see is honestly not that much of a problem - it's when it's something that anyone can pick up on that you know you've got a problem.

In writing, brevity is a virtue and one of the highest commandments is "thou shalt not waste the reader's time" - or watcher's, or listener's, depending on what medium you're writing for. While indirectness or extended rambles inevitably make their way into first draft versions, part of the revision process is supposed to be the excision of those unnecessary bits, removing the superstructure and every other bit that doesn't strictly need to be there in order to make the thing hold together. Even just thinking about this slightly improved my current work-in-progress in that way; the issue is that the satellite phone connection in the story is scratchy, it's irrelevant that it's being caused by higher-than-normal activity in a gas giant's radiation belts.

Some writers aren't necessarily as quick to pull this sort of unnecessary padding out of their stories, and while it's not always to their detriment it frequently is. The number one offender in this realm, as far as I'm concerned, is Star Trek - specifically, the modern chain of series that aired from 1987 to 2005. The only reason, I think, why I don't recall it leaping out at me more at the time was because I wasn't actively wrestling with these issues at the time.

For example, I've acquired a piece of the script from the Deep Space 9 episode "Sacrifice of Angels," the main attraction of which was the massive computer-generated space battle. The writers on DS9 made a conscious effort to avoid reliance on technobabble of the sort that dominated Star Trek: The Next Generation, but even then some shone through in the form of unnecessary word filler. Take this example...

INT - U.S.S. DEFIANT BRIDGE

NOG

Sir, I can't get through to anybody! Communications are down!

The back half of the bridge EXPLODES in a shower of sparks.

O'BRIEN

They're jamming our signal by generating a rotating EM pulse.

SISKO

Can you clear it?

O'BRIEN

I'm trying!

The bridge continues to EXPLODE. Time passes. Starships dart around like fighter aircraft. More things EXPLODE.

O'BRIEN

Comms back on line!

The first time I saw this scene after a long while in which I hadn't, O'Brien's line screeched and groaned like a door with a hundred hinges in need of oil. It's simple, really - why do we, as the audience, care how the Jem'Hadar are futzing with the radio? The fact that they're spamming electromagnetic pulses would be relevant if this was the core issue of the story, with the conflict arising from the challenges faced in overcoming it, but here it's just verbal wallpaper that adds absolutely nothing to the story.

There are only two things that need to be addressed in that scene: communications are down, and they need to be fixed. Captain Sisko is trying to keep his ship from flying apart at the seams - it is unnecessary for him to know exactly what is causing this latest issue, because he is not the one who will be fixing it. Were I to rewrite the example scene, it would be something like this:

INT - U.S.S. DEFIANT BRIDGE

NOG

Sir, I can't get through to anybody! Communications are down!

The bridge SHAKES and RUMBLES under heavy weapons fire. The consoles do not EXPLODE, thanks to the robustness you would expect 24th-century electronics to exhibit.

SISKO

Chief!

O'BRIEN

On it!

See, that's all we need to know - communications are down, but Chief O'Brien knows the score because he is good at his job and is already focused on solving it. He does not need to explain what the situation is to justify a higher "bridge communications" rating in his next performance review.

Simplicity is every writer's friend. It's not something to hide from or to leave in one's dust. Doing that only means that you're doing a disservice to the audience.

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